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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Single Parenthood Sucks

I tell ya, the last two years of my life have made me realize that single parents and military families deserve A LOT of respect. I just wish Ron would realize the same!!!! I don't work at my paying job or at home for a pat on the back, but it would sure be nice for him to acknowledge how hard I'm trying once in a while! I know the house isn't as clean as he'd like it to be, but dammit--the kids are wearing clean clothes, they're fed and loved, and they are learning to be productive citizens. I don't think that's all that bad, considering I'm managing a STRESSFUL full-time job, two kids, two dogs, a house and kids' activities (including coaching Jacob's soccer team.) And our house isn't dirty, by any means---it's just not as organized as we'd like. Is that SO bad in the grand scheme of things?! GAH!!!!

I despise being a single parent, and I'm starting to feel resentment about it--A LOT of resentment. The problem is, I'm resenting Ron, and it's not his fault. He didn't ask to lose his job, nor did he want or expect not to find work here for TWO years!!! I just try to focus on one day at a time, but I also have to try and figure out plans for the future. Today I looked at the school calendar. I have all the days off planned for this calendar year, but then I look at the rest of the school year for 2009 and panic. Who will watch my kids on Martin Luther King Jr. Day? What will I do with them over Spring break in April? I have NO idea!!!!

I live every week day focusing on the weekend and then spend every weekend wishing that it would just slow down! I need some help around here. I cannot keep going like this. It's hard, and it's frustrating. I HATE it, and I want to either live with my husband or live near my family!!

O.K. Whine over.

3 comments:

Lee said...

I remember those days ... vividly. Louis worked out of town for 7 years - 5 of them I was pregnant with our four kids or dealing with little people and working a full-time, full-stress job. It all became mind-set. At this point I miss being 100% in charge :) If you can't change the situation, you've got to change your perspective!

Jayne said...

{{{hug}}} Hoping things ease up for you!

Traci said...

Big hugs!

So what can you do about the whole mess? Have you told him about your resentment? Maybe he would have suggestions?

When in doubt, start looking for jobs around here and I'll come over and watch your kids on their days off ;-)