Friday, March 28, 2008

Spring Break

Well, Jacob's Spring Break starts in an hour and a half. By 5:00pm, we'll be on the road to Ohio to stop at my folks' place. We'll drop the dogs off at the prison where we adopted them from, which will make them ecstatic!! They love to go back to visit all the inmates, and Buster goes CRAZY as soon as we pull in the drive. The inmates take great care of them, and they give them the best bath ever. And the best part?? It costs us $3/day to board them and $5 for each of their baths. Woohooooooo!!!!! I can't wait to see my clean dogs next week! They really need a bath.

Tomorrow morning we'll get up and around, have breakfast with my folks and head to Kentucky...where it's supposed to rain all week. :( What a bummer!!!!! I'd rather stay here in our snow and play in that than go hang out in a small apartment in the rain. But the kids REALLY want to go see Ron. Geesh! The things we do for our kids.

So I've been trying to prepare myself for all the "are we there yet" and the "he's looking at me" and "she's bothering me" comments I'm going to hear the entire way. I HATE road trips. I hate being in the car, and my kids hate it equally as much...and they complain ALL.THE.TIME. We've tried games, contests, rewards, etc. - but nothing works. We have a DVD player, they take their Leapsters, music players, bags with coloring books and notebooks, etc. And within 30 minutes, they will both be complaining. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish we were flying.

I went home for lunch and put everything on the kitchen table that we're taking. Wow - I overpacked BIG time. We're not even going for a week, and I have a TON of stuff. The boogers better not say they're bored when we get there, though! It's hard since it's going to rain...a couple of the things I was planning to do with them are outside. Big bummer there.

Well, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. I'm not sure if I'll be back online before next Thursday, so don't miss me too much. LOL!!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

6 Word Memoir

Joanie heard this on the radio and challenged us to post in our blog.

The idea is to select 6 words to sum up your life -your memoir. Here is mine:

Work hard

My Life is Boring

There, I said it. I don't have anything to say that anyone else would find interesting.

I think this is why I stopped blogging in the first place.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Easter!!!

The kids had a fantastic Easter. With baskets (and gifts from Mom and Dad) like this, what kid wouldn't be thrilled?!?!?! Yeah...that's WAY more than I ever got!!!


Then we were off to church. Here are the kids before we left. (Sorry the picture quality is so's the best I can do until I get my photo editing software loaded on my new user.)


And here we are in church...with Flat Tara! When did Jacob become a little man?!


I hope you and your family had a fantastic Easter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 21, 2008

I said my Goodbyes...

to the radiation machine this morning!!!!!!!!!!!! You have no idea how fantastic it was to walk out of that room today knowing that I wouldn't be going back. It was such an amazing feeling of accomplishment, and I'm so relieved that it's over.

It was very hard on my - physically and emotionally. The oncologist is hopeful that this will stop the tumor from growing, though we can only wait and see for now. I'm in excruciating pain a lot of the time from this thing, and he said that could last a few months. But, if the radiation worked, I should be pain free by the fall. If I'm not, then they need to re-evaluate things.

The only bad thing about radiation being that now I have to have MRIs again. :( BUT, my oncologist isn't doing one this week like he originally said, so I get a reprieve for a month or so. YAY! !

What a wonderful way to start off my Easter weekend.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I just want radiation to end!!!!!!!!!!

I was so looking forward to going to the hospital for my LAST radiation today. I've been pumping myself up about the fact that it's my last one since I woke up this morning. I was literally in front of the hospital when they called to tell me that the machine was down. Now I have to go tomorrow morning. I know it probably seems trivial, but I can't explain the let-down I'm feeling. Now I need to get through yet another anxious night like last night and just get this done tomorrow. I go in at 8:30am, so I guess I can start my long weekend at 10am.

I behind on my Smiles...

Melissa reminded me that I'm behind on my blog challenge for the week. I'm not sure if the problem is that I've not been back here to post or that I just can't think of anything to post about. I know it's awful--I have so much to be thankful for--but I'm very depressed right now. I'm having a really hard time thinking about happy things.

For today, I'd have to say that the thing that made me smile today was having lunch with a co-worker. Well, technically, he's a former co-worker since he left at 3:00pm. Today was his last day. We've worked together for over eight years, so it was hard to see him go. But I am SO very happy that he was able to find a new job and move on. He's very talented, and he's been held back by the constraints of our current management. While I'll miss him a lot, I'm glad he was able to find a new opportunity...and I'm sure he'll do great there.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Blog Challenge #9 Day 2: Smile

Today, I got a HUGE smile when I went to the mail drop-box at lunch. I mailed the contract and deposit for the cottage we're renting for vacation this summer. Talk about instant smile!!! Despite being 23 weeks away...I'm relieved and happy that I am able to take a vacation this year. It's going to be tight with our budget - especially with the gas prices going up - but we're going to make it work.

Family Vacation. That is the thing that made me smile the most today.

Radiation Sucks

I'm in a funk, so don't read if you are expecting to hear from "happy Brandi."

I have a very stressful life, and radiation is the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. I've had it with radiation, I'm sick of going in there, and I'm sick of laying "completely still, Mrs. Lezon" for so long every time. I'm also sick of being sick and sick of waiting in that stinky hospital. I'm sick of being told "you have nothing to worry about" by all the techs. Yeah, sure. Easy for you to say. YOU get to sit behind a barricade. YOU are free from radiation entering your body. YOU aren't being exposed to the areas that say "Alert Radiation - Stay out." Of course YOU have nothing to worry about...but I do!

Last night, I almost told the lady that I hope she never, ever has to go through this. It's a living hell to lay on that table for 1½ hours, hearing the machine (the one that indicates the radiation is going) beeping LOUDLY, while thinking about the long list of potential long-term side effects. So sure, it's easy for someone on the outside of the room to tell me that there is nothing to worry about. It's not easy when you're the one on the table, though!

Ron came home to help me this week. That should be a great thing, but it's causing me more stress. He's messing up my routines and then yelling at me when the kids are confused that everything is different. He wants to do things his own way when my kids are used to the structure they've had in their routine for over a year. And he says "well everyone says how flexible kids are." Well, my kids *are* flexible...but they also rely on structure for things. Give me a break and stop yelling at me! GAH!!!

This week, I HATE radiation. Thursday is my last day. I just want it to be over.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Made Me Smile...Day 1

The SS Blog challenge this week is by Melissa, and she has challenged us to think of one thing each day that made us smile. She noted that some of us are dealing with a lot and may have a hard time focusing on the joys in life...and I'm definitely guilty of that lately! Since radiation started, I've been in a bad funk and haven't seen the joy in very many things. But Melissa is exactly right - I have a lot of be happy about. There is no reason not to smile at something every day.

Today, my first (and probably will be my biggest) smile came as I walked out of the bathroom in my robe after my shower this morning. There were two smiling kids shouting "Happy Birthday, Mommy!" I was so surprised because when I went into the bathroom, they were both still asleep. They proceeded to sing happy birthday to me, and then we had donut holes for breakfast. Those aren't on my diet, but what the heck...they made me smile too. LOL!

So today, even though I have radiation, I will focus on the smiles from this own AND my kids'!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Live Life to the Fullest

I logged onto ScrapShare today and read that a long-time member died from cancer. It was so hard to read. Despite never meeting her, I feel like I lost a friend today. She left behind two boys, one with autism, and her husband. Luckily, she didn't suffer too long. I mean she's been battling cancer for a while, but she just went into hospice in the last week. She died peacefully without sedation, which was her hope. I know that her husband and boys are going to have a very tought time, but my thoughts and prayers are with them all.

That brings me to the title of my post. You need to make sure you live life every day as if it's your last. Marian was trying to conceive another child when she got her cancer diagnosis. Little did she know that having another child wasn't in the cards. But from reading about her, especially through her husband's words, it was clear that she was a wonderful mother and wife...and she left a wonderful legacy behind.

It is so important to live every day the max. This is my focus. Please make it yours, too. :)

Friday, March 14, 2008

I'm blogging...

Thanks to Brenda, I'm back to trying out a blog. Last time I tried it, I didn't last long. Hopefully with the blog challenges from ScrapShare, I'll make it a little longer this time.

I'm not sure that anyone cares what I have to say or will even venture over here...but I'll blog for my own expressive needs if nothing else.

Look for more coming soon! :)