"No New Growth..."

Those words were like music to my ears this morning. "No new growth of tumor is present" is what the Director of Oncology told me this morning at my appointment. I could feel the smile across my entire face, and when he looked up from my chart, he noticed it, too, because he broke a small grin. He's a FANTASTIC doctor...but he never smiles. He's very serious, pretty monotone and never smiles. He's always working, which is why I appreciate him so much. He's dedicated to each and every one of his patients, and I love that. But I also love that he broke a little smile today.

He said he's quite please that there is no growth, but it doesn't mean I'm out of the woods yet. Though it hasn't grown, it also hasn't receded at all. That's not what he was hoping to see, but for now, we'll take no new growth. He has ordered another scan for December. If it hasn't receded by then, more radiation will be on my schedule. If it grows at all, another surgery could be on my schedule. Though that terrifies me, I am not going to focus on it right now. I can only handle one day at a time, so I'm not going to be consumed by something that may or may not happen. I'm going to focus on feeling well and being happy that my tumor has not grown at all. Praise God. If I could get to the rooftop, I'd shout it from there. Praise God that my tumor is not growing.

He wouldn't discuss my head MRI results except to say that I need to follow-up with the dr. that ordered it. He was concerned when he saw it as part of the MRI results, partly because he didn't order it. He turned the lights out and checked the optic nerve himself. He said there was a possibility that all this was related, so he wanted to be updated on everything that happens. He was surprised when I told him that I knew Multiple Sclerosis could be the cause for some of my problems. I guess he didn't think my doctor would tell me what they were looking for, I don't know.

I explained that with my tumor I have tingling, numbness and weakness in my legs (which he already knew), and since I've had blurred vision, double vision and weird episodes of spots and dots in my eyes (to where I can't focus or see), the dr. wanted to rule out MS--especially when the eye dr. said my optic nerve was swollen. She was also worried about the fatigue issues I've had, and when adjusting my sugar medication didn't help, she wanted the MRI done.

Anyways, my oncologist was glad I was being proactive and wants to be kept informed as to what happens next. I have to go back to my neurosurgeon for my tumor anyways, because my oncologist won't release me back to normal activity, so he was glad to hear that I'd see him in two months. I was really hoping I'd get released to get back to jogging kick-boxing because I've gained SO much weight since this ordeal started - but he told me that it's pretty unlikely the neurosurgeron would allow it yet, and he's recommending against it. I have never been one to listen to doctors...but I'm scared of paralyzation, so I'm listening. I hate being fat, though, and want to be more active to lose some more weight. Walking it off just isn't working.