"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."

I've posted so many times on SS that I don't have any friends. I grew up close to one person, and she moved when we were in middle school. We kept in contact via snail mail for many, many years and visited each other a couple times a year. After I was married, our communication dropped down to Christmas and birthday cards, though now that we both have kids we normally write each other every quarter and exchange pictures. Truly, if I ever needed her to be here, I know she would be. But I miss not seeing her regularly or being able to "hang out" together.

The only other friend I really have had over the years is a gal I met in college. We lived on the same floor of the dorm our first year in college and then shared a house with four other girls (six total) our second year of college. She was in my wedding, and we've stayed in contact via snail mail and e-mail for the past 11 years. I've only seen her once since she moved to Omaha, though. Again, I wish we could spend time together, but distance and money doesn't allow it.

I've always been so depressed that I don't have any friends, and I've thought about it so often. I don't know very many people locally, and I'm so shy IRL that I have a hard time making friends. And since I hate the phone, I have an even harder time keeping them. There are times that I sit and just cry because I feel alone. I really wish I had someone locally to call on to go hang out with - someone that I can talk to about anything and not be afraid to show my true colors. Someone that just wants to talk, go to a park, meet at the zoo, scrapbook together, etc. But I don't. And that often makes me very sad.

So the other night, I was resting in bed, and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I thought about how blessed I am. I have met so many wonderful people online, and I can talk to them anytime I want. I can go to SS and vent and not get judged (usually...I mean do NOT talk about tanning beds and you're generally O.K. LOL). I can go there and cry and have people lift me up - through nice words and prayer. I can go there for a good laugh and always find one. I try to reciprocate with encouragement, prayers and even laughs for others who need it. I don't know if it works, but I know they sure provide it to me!

Through the board, I was able to go to a retreat and meet some WONDERFUL ladies. I spent a weekend sitting in a room laughing and having a genuinely wonderful time with people I had never met before...but if you would have been peaking in, you'd never have known that we hadn't met! That's where I met Tiffany, and she's been a Godsend, literally. I would not have made it through my first radiation treatment without her. And everytime I think of her, I think of the old quote: "A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." Honestly, do you think she really wanted to be at the hospital with me?! Nope - but she was there. And she came three times in a row to support me even though she had other things she could have been doing. She is a wonderful person with a heart of gold - and faith that astounds me. I am blessed to know her. She came through at a time when my "friends" didn't. The few people I know locally that have so often offered to help me out couldn't be bothered when I really needed them. But Tiffany was there. "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"

Several ladies have sent me cards, meals and pick me ups over the last four months--many of them I've never even met. How amazing is that?! The last RAK I got was probably the most amazing purely because of timing. I literally was going to throw in my towel. I convinced myself that I wasn't strong enough for everything going on in my life and was going to retreat to my black hole and not come out. And then there was this box and very moving card in front of me basically screaming at me. I'm not a quitter, and thanks to those ladies, I was reminded of that. "A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."

Through that board, I have met a few gals that I chat online with, and that has filled a huge void in my life. So while I sit and complain to myself sometimes that I can't just pick up the phone and say "let's meet for a drink", I truly am grateful for the friends I have online. Even though they aren't actually *here* with me, they really are with me all the time. And I count on them for so much, and I value their friendship more than they will ever know. I'm not sure where I'd be right now without them. "True friends are never apart, maybe in distance, but not in heart"

So I guess the point of this long, rambling post is that though I often wish I had local friends that I could call on regularly (and they call on me, too), I am grateful that God has blessed me with wonderful friends. It doesn't matter where they are - it matters that we're here for each other. "A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, but touches your heart."