Life Altering

I'm sure you've received some of those e-mails asking all kinds of silly questions, right? If not, I want YOUR e-mail, because I get them ALL.THE.TIME. LOL! I often delete the e-mails with Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: in the subject line, but I do read some of them. And boy am I ever glad that I do because sometimes I get a really big laugh!!

I was going to do something like Letterman's top ten, but I couldn't narrow it down that far. Here are some of the funniest questions/statements I've read over the years. Enjoy.

1. Do bald men wash their heads with shampoo or soap?
2. How can someone be dirt poor and another be filthy rich?
3. When you put THE and IRS together, it forms "THEIRS"
4. What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
5. When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs?
6. If your plan is to have no plan, do you have a plan?
7. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
8. Why do people say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
9. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
10. If a pig loses his voice, he is disgruntled.
11. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
12. Why is the man that invests your money called a broker?
13. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
14. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Is that because "I do" is the longest sentence?
15. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
16. What hair color do they put on the drivers license of a bald man?
17. How come nobody ever says "It's only a game" when they are winning?
18. If we quit voting, will they all go away?
19. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station........
20. If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead?"
21. What are boxing rings square?
22. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
23. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
24. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
25. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
26. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
27. Why do doctors call what they do "practice?"
28. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
29. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours if they are both dogs?
30. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?