Where is the emergency stop button?

So, I've been on this crazy roller coaster ride called life for the last 2½ years, and I'm SICK TO DEATH. I desperately need the emergency stop button. I want off this ride. I want a refund, and I never want to get on this ride again.

Life Altering

I'm sure you've received some of those e-mails asking all kinds of silly questions, right? If not, I want YOUR e-mail, because I get them ALL.THE.TIME. LOL! I often delete the e-mails with Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: in the subject line, but I do read some of them. And boy am I ever glad that I do because sometimes I get a really big laugh!!

I was going to do something like Letterman's top ten, but I couldn't narrow it down that far. Here are some of the funniest questions/statements I've read over the years. Enjoy.

1. Do bald men wash their heads with shampoo or soap?
2. How can someone be dirt poor and another be filthy rich?
3. When you put THE and IRS together, it forms "THEIRS"
4. What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
5. When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs?
6. If your plan is to have no plan, do you have a plan?
7. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
8. Why do people say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
9. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
10. If a pig loses his voice, he is disgruntled.
11. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
12. Why is the man that invests your money called a broker?
13. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
14. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Is that because "I do" is the longest sentence?
15. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
16. What hair color do they put on the drivers license of a bald man?
17. How come nobody ever says "It's only a game" when they are winning?
18. If we quit voting, will they all go away?
19. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station........
20. If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead?"
21. What are boxing rings square?
22. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
23. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
24. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
25. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
26. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
27. Why do doctors call what they do "practice?"
28. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
29. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours if they are both dogs?
30. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Wordless Wednesday

Mindless Questionaire

1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Neither!!
2. Be serious or be funny? I like to laugh, so I'd say funny. *I'm* not really that funny, but I think I have a good sense of humor and like to be with funny people.
3. Boxers or briefs? Why are those the only two choices? What if it's neither?! I wear these bikini cut things, so I guess that'd be more like a brief.
4. Whole or skim milk? Skim, please. My husband says that's like colored water, but I love it.
5. Single or taken? Taken.
6. Simple or complicated? I'm complicated, thanks to my tumor. Three years ago, I would have said that I'm simple. At heart -- I am. I hate drama, and I'm so easy going. But my tumor makes everything complicated.
7. Law or anarchy? Law. I am a rule follower.
8. Flowers or angels? Both.
9. Grey or gray? Grey -- like Grey's Anatomy.
10. Read or write? Write. I LOVE to write. But I don't like to read much for pleasure.
11. Color or black-and-white photos? Color mostly, but I do love some photos in black and white.
12. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset. I don't like to wake up early!!
13. M&M's or Skittles? M&Ms. And I prefer peanuts.
14. Go to bed late or wake up late? Go to bed late. I HATE mornings.
16. TV or Radio? Depends on my mood.
17. Is it POP or SODA? Pop
18. X or O in Tic-Tac-Toe? I'm always O because the kids always go first, and they are always X.
19. Leather purse or knit purse? Knit.
20. Eat an apple or an orange? Apple. I don't do citrus.
21. What came first the chicken or the egg? Chicken.
22. Hot or Cold? I prefer cold weather, so I'll say cold.
23. Light or dark nail polish? Clear for my fingers and bright for my toes.
24. Tall members of the opposite sex or short? Tall.
25. Sun or moon? Moon
26. Emerald or ruby? Ruby
27. Mt. Dew or Surge? Mt. Dew
28. Left or right? Right.
29. 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? 1 Best Friend
30. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? Vanilla (Unless the chocolate has peanut butter in it!)
31. High or Drunk? I don't like feeling drunk, and I've never been high.
32. Green beans or carrots? I like both. Yummmmmm.
33. Low fat or fat free? Depends on what it is, though I don't buy much fat free stuff
34. What is your biggest fear in the world? Dying before my kids are grown
35. Silver jewelry or gold jewelry? Gold
36. Kids or no kids? Kids -- just my own or close friends'
37. Cat or dog? I am a dog person. A BIG dog person at that!
38. Half empty or half full? Half full
39. Mustard or ketchup? Depends on what I'm eating. I like both.
40. Hard cover books or soft cover books? Hard cover
41. Newspaper or magazine? Magazine
42. Sandals or sneakers? Sandals if I have to wear shoes
44. Red car or white car? Red
45. Happy and poor or sad and rich? Happy and poor...which is what I am, so I speak from experience.
46. Singing or dancing? I can't sing worth a damn, but my spirit gets lifted so quickly when I turn the music up and sing.
47. Hugging or Kissing? Hugging
49. Happy or sad? Happy
50. Purple or green? Green

He Gives Strength

I've been having a pretty tough time lately. I'm 32 years old, but I feel like I'm 72! My tumor is growing, my medical records say that it's cancer, and it's affecting my daily life more than I ever imagined it would. My children are constantly disappointed that I can't do things with them, like ride my bike, run and play or pick them up. They don't understand what a tumor is and just know that Mommy has a bad back. I feel like I'm cheating them, and it's so disappointing.

I hate living like this, and I've pretty much been wallowing in self-pity. A wonderful friend sent me an e-mail with just this passage. No note, no personal message. Just this. I think I need to start reading my bible more.


Isaiah 40:28-31

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Wordless Wednesday: Game On

Happy Easter!!!

I know this is late, but I didn't have time to get on the computer yesterday. I was enjoying the day with my kids, and then I went to bed early since I had such a bad migraine last night.

So, even though it's late, I hope everyone had a GREAT Easter. My kids really enjoyed the day, and they are enjoying Spring Break this week. I hope the rain holds off so they can play outside with the sitter!!

100 things to do in a lifetime

I got this off my friend Beth's blog. I've done the things in BOLD print.

1. Started your own blog- Duh

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you could to a charity - I've given a lot, but never more than I could.

7. Been to Disneyland

8. Climbed a mountain

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa

20. Traveled by Train

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitchhiked

23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse (solar)

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo's David

41. Sung Karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on the beach in the moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

(WHERE IS #54?)

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout cookies

62. Gone whale watching

63. Got flowers for no reason

(NUMBERS 64 & 65 are missing, too...)

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chicken pox

89. Saved someone's life

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a lawsuit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

100. Read an entire book in a day

Amazing Progress

Background: Clarissa is 5yo now, but last year when she was 4yo, she failed miserably in swim lessons. For some reason, she developed an intense FEAR of the water, and we have no idea why. She doesn't know why either -- she just cried any time she had to sit in water -- including the tub. (Thank goodness for showers). She would try to hit, kick and even bite her swim instructor. :o We pulled her out of the pool one day and never took her back. In some ways it felt like we were rewarding her and giving her what she wanted, but we couldn't put her teacher or the other kids at risk. And she was being MEAN. :o

We talked with the director of swimming, and she very politely told us that Clarissa could no longer take group lessons. She scared the other kids and of course, the instructor didn't like her either. :p

Fast forward to this winter. We used all the money DH's mom gave us for Christmas to put her in private swim lessons at the same place. We told this instructor that she has a huge fear of the water, so all we expected from the class was for her to feel comfortable enough to get IN the water without screaming and thrashing around. Imagine our surprise when Clarissa was doing THIS:










And these were taken last month when my parents came up for a visit. They took the kids to the hotel, and Clarissa was brave enough to jump to her brother!!!!!!!!!!

What Was I Thinking?!

Here is our weekly schedule.

Sunday - Swimming for both at 6:10pm
Monday - Soccer at 6:00
Tuesday - Baseball at 6:00
Wednesday - Soccer at 6:00
Thursday - Dance at 5:30 and Baseball at 6:00pm

Now, if Ron was here to help me, this wouldn't be a big deal. But I work full-time, have to do all the cooking, cleaning and taking care of the house, and we have two dogs to exercise and take care of. What in the world was I thinking when I signed up for soccer AND baseball?!